"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader." 

John Quincy Adams. 

 
 

One of my goals is to become a leader who can bring positive change to my school to improve student learning by implementing blended learning. During the 5304 Leading Organization Change course, I learned about differentiated leadership and crucial conversations. I also acquired the necessary skills to be a good leader who acts from the heart. 

 

A key theme for Friedman is the idea that leaders need to be self-differentiated. That means, in short, that leaders cannot be overly identified with the groups they lead, or else they will not have the needed perspective to make hard decisions. In other words, leaders need to have clearly defined boundaries. (Friedman, 2010) 

 

A differentiated leader has well-defined boundaries, and they do not overly identify with their groups or team to make difficult decisions. The first part is to be unstuck and to start with ourselves. Once you are unstuck, start with the heart to know your why. Be authentic, assertive, and honest to build respect within your organization. Learn to look for turning points in the conversation, where others are turning to look for violence or silence. Sometimes we miss the bigger picture and fail to read the cues and signs.  If this happens, slow down the conversation and restart with the heart in mind and control your emotions. Turn the negative situation into a favorable situation to make it safe for the conversation. The key is to step out of the content of the conversation. Do not be stuck on what is being said (Patterson et al., 2012).  

 

Apologize sincerely and create mutual respect. Stick to the facts and leave the emotions out to master your stories. Stories make connections by stating the truth by what you see, what you hear, how you feel, and how you act. If we take control of our stories, they will not control us. People who excel at dialogue can influence their emotions during crucial conversations (Patterson et al., 2012). Remember to STATE your path when you are facing others. Share your facts- start with the least controversial and most persuasive. Tell your story to reinforce trust, clarity, and simplicity.  

 

Share your facts 

Tell your story (i.e., meaning you are making of these facts)  

Ask for others’ paths/ story 

Talk tentatively 

Encourage testing 

 

The intent is to reach a shared meaning to the facts as a solid basis to agree on the next action steps. 

 

Time to listen! Explore others’ paths and ask them to share their stories. Understand and paraphrase their ideas. If others hold back, guess what they may be thinking and feeling. When you agree, agree.  

 

Ask to get things rolling 

Mirror to confirm feelings 

Paraphrase to Acknowledge the Story 

Prime when you’re getting nowhere 

 

Move to action by setting clear expectations and a follow-up plan.  

We will design and implement a plan for who does what and when, make sure commitments are deliverable and clear, and record commitments holding individuals accountable. We will use our compelling scoreboard to follow up with responsibilities. These steps will guide you towards having crucial conversations in your organization while keeping the heart in mind, bringing harmony in as you make changes to achieve your Wildly Important Goal.  

 
 

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How can I lead change in my school? 

 
 

I need to start with my heart to change my behavior. By remembering our WHY, we motivate ourselves to stay focused and not get distracted by the whirlwind. The first thing I need to do is change my day-to-day routines within our organization. Once I start doing this, other teachers will see my changes and be inspired to implement them. I will respectfully value my colleagues as we implement crucial conversation strategies.  

A Crucial Conversation is a conversation between two or more people in which opinions are essential factors at stake. When a problem occurs, the determining factor between failure and success is the time from when the situation arises until the people involved find a solution. One way to minimize time and resolve issues more quickly is to hold meetings at least once a week. Give time for questions and doubts; respect and be sincere, provide answers, and clarify colleagues' concerns. As a leader, I must control my emotions to manage the crucial conversations in the weekly meetings with the teachers.  

During PLC meetings, I plan to implement my Innovation plan with the Influencer Strategy and involving the 4DX models as discussed. I will create a safe space where my colleagues feel comfortable participating in conversations and developing an understanding of the objectives and what is required of the Implementation project. This will make blended learning easier to operate than complicated for teachers using COVA+CSLE (Choice, Ownership, Voice, and Authentic) (Creating, Significant, Learning, Environment)  

To conclude, there are so many key factors to having a crucial conversation that we must practice every day because we have crucial personal and work discussions. To be a differentiated leader, we must adopt the crucial conversational skills to be successful when working as a team. Even with the best intentions in making excellent preparation, I am aware that I will be met with resisters. Therefore, I have a strategy for dealing with pessimists. All innovative ideas meet with resistance. After reading and studying Crucial Conversation, I feel equipped for the mission.  

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References:  

 

Callibrain. (2015, August 20). Video review for Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM&feature=youtu.be 

Camp, J. [Mathew David Bardwell]. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership made simple [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgdcljNV-Ew&feature=youtu.be 

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill. 

Vital Smarts India. (2012, February 10). Crucial conversations explained in two minutes [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixEI4_2Xivw&feature=youtu.be